Bridezilla Be Gone

I am not a bridezilla; I can tell you that for sure. But I am starting to understand how a bridezilla is born. Over the months I have been trying to coordinate all of the pieces for my wedding in August. Going into this process, I had all sorts of ideas on how this was going to unfold. Whether I liked it or not, I was being willful and I want what I want when I want it. One little hiccup would set me off in a tailspin and believe it or not, I did stomp my feet once or twice in front of mom.  I got a glimpse of that gross person, and I didn’t approve.

This past year in my life has been a lesson in letting go and having faith that no matter what, I will be OK and everything will work out. I look back on the last year or more and did not plan any of it, which helps me in this wedding planning process. 

I used to believe that when things didn't work out or my plans never came to fruition, it was going to be a disaster. Today, I believe that there is something else better down the road that I don't even know about, and that is the reason my “plans” fell through.

This has been something I have been thinking about a lot and I needed to tell on myself. For example, Today I can’t find someone to do my hair and I’m obsessing. When I say out loud and to others, “It’s gonna be fine, “ I truly believe. So, thanks for listening!

Going to the Chapel of Love

When I would think about the moment I would become engaged, I envisioned tears, hugging, and just mushy mushy mushy. It's one of the biggest moments in life, so naturally you would think I would act appropriately. So, you can imagine my surprise when on Saturday, June 19th, Eric got down on one knee and asked me to marry him, my reaction was "What? What's going on? What are you doing? Is this a joke? What?!" I felt stunned, shocked, numb. I did not cry; in fact, my sister was crying so hard on the phone I could hardly make out what she was saying. After my initial ridiculous outburst, I laughed and then it all fell into place. Omg. I am engaged. SURREAL!

He took me to one of the nicest restaurants in Portland, Maine called Fore Street. However, we may as well have been at McDonald's because I couldn't focus on the surroundings and hardly tasted the three bites of salmon he basically had to order for me because I couldn't focus. And to be honest, I still don't have my whole appetite back because when I get nervous or in this case excited, it always ties my tummy up in knots.


It's been a journey for me, finding this man of my dreams. It was not easy, and I went through a dark place to eventually get to where I needed to be, which is here. I look back at my past and while I cringe sometimes at old relationships, I would absolutely do it all over again if it meant I would again end up with Eric. But I would probably complain the whole way.

So now it begins- the planning. I have an idea of what I want for my wedding, but it's been a very general idea; I never thought about details because I didn't want to jinx myself. I also didn't want to have the whole thing planned before I even got engaged! I laugh and say that my sister has been like a horse behind the gate before the race... just barely holding it together wanting to go, go, go!! And thank god for my mom who emailed anyone and everyone to share the good news, which really saved me a lot of time!! I am thrilled to be able to walk through this with my family; my two sisters and my mother. Well, I have a brother and a father, but I am sure they wouldn't be too excited to be dragged down by this. So, I am saving their souls.

I hear horror stories about the planning of a wedding, but the last thing I want is to turn this into something much bigger than it is. I read this quote recently, and I am going to try and keep it in mind for the next year, "There are only five things you need to get married: a bride, a groom, an officiant, a license, and a witness. Everything else is just fluff." It reminds me that I don't want to stress about fluff. I want to be loved, and love, and just walk through this experience with a smile, an open mind, and lots of laughing.

Stay tuned for the fashionable journey ahead!